I think we all have heard this phrase many times in our lives. Many may say that is how I describe myself. I tell you, that is true when it comes to me. I am an open book. There’s no faking or putting on with this girl. I am who I am- loud, crazy, tenderhearted, passionate, giving and love with all my being. I make no apologies for it. I also don’t make any apologies for my passion and love for my Lord and Saviour. You see, this girl knows who she was when He saved her. I was as young 19 year old wife and mom who knew the Way, I knew the Scriptures, I knew what the Bible said about being born a sinner and needing the precious Blood of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice applied to my soul. But…… I was choosing my own way. What you saw is what you got, a lost sinner who lived the life of a sinner.
Choosing my own way left me empty and wanting inside. I searched for love. I wanted nothing more than a family that wasn’t broken up. I wanted acceptance. I married my handsome man when I was 17 years old and 9 months later we welcomed our honeymoon daughter. Still, this didn’t fill the emptiness within. 14 months later, I gave birth to our second daughter. Although she completed our little family, something just didn’t feel complete. Little did I know, the Holy Spirit of God was beginning His work of conviction within my heart. I started seeing myself as empty, without peace, without forgiveness. His sweet, convicting power began to convince me that I wasn’t as “good” as I wanted to think I was. Seeing myself as He saw me was very troubling. I wanted to hang onto a false profession that I made when I was 5 years old. I wanted to come up with every excuse of why I committed the sins I did. I wanted to blame it on how I grew up, the things that were beyond my control. All of those excuses left me empty still, no peace was to be found. I was having to see myself as my Creator saw me. Let me tell you, that is so humbling!
One Tuesday night of a revival in September 1996, the invitational “Just As I Am” was being played during the altar call. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought the whole church could hear His Spirit telling me I was a Sinner and Lost on my way to a devil’s hell. I struggled wondering what everyone would think of this bus kid who had come back. Surely they remembered the profession I had made as a little girl. Surely they remembered all the scripture I memorized and quoted. What in the world would they think if I went forward and said all of that was for naught and that I was just a dirty sinner?! Oh the humbling shame I was feeling was nothing compared to the devastation when I agreed with the calling of the Spirit within my heart. I let go of the back of the pew and came just as I was, dirty, lost and in need of a Saviour. As I made my way down the aisle, I came to the conclusion, What you see is what you get. I am nothing, I have nothing to offer but a battered, empty life Lord. I am so dirty I didn’t believe He would forgive someone like me.
Little did I know that’s just who He desires. He longs for a sinner to come to Him just as they are. I’ll never forget the verse the altar worker used with me and the “light” it turned on within my heart.
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Isaiah 1:18
You see that verse let me know that He would forgive a sinner like me. He delighted in getting what He saw in me. I knelt down in my brokenness and asked the Precious Lord Jesus to forgive me for being born a sinner and to save me. I accepted His Unspeakable Gift of Salvation that day. For the first time in my life I had a peace that passed all of my understanding. I was clean, I was free from my past, I was His and I knew He was mine!
I left that revival meeting that night a new creature in Christ. He was living in my heart. His grace began a work in me.
You see, What You See is What You Get… I’m just a sinner saved by the grace of God, longing to serve Him and love Him more and more each day.
I pray you have come to Him just as you are, and also that you would allow Him to make you a trophy of His Grace, But, if you haven’t, Please reach out to Kristin or me. We would love to introduce you to the Lovely Lord Jesus.
😍