Advice from Song of Solomon on finding your future husband
‘Tis the season for love. Romance is certainly in the air in February. This is a time when much attention is given to dating. The possibility of marriage or engagement is a little more exciting. But for those without a significant other, it is easy to get a little depressed at the thought of being single on yet another Valentines Day. May I remind you of something, single friend? It is better to stay single, than to rush marriage and be unequally yoked together with the wrong person. (Look up Bible verses about being unequally yoked together- it isn’t a good thing!) Continue to pray specific prayers for your future spouse. God will provide in his will, and in his perfect time! And remember, Valentine’s Day is not a biblical holiday, God doesn’t think any less of you for being single, and if your friends do, then you might need new ones! Just sayin’…
Song of Solomon- a Biblical love story
For this post I’m not interested in going into a detailed outline of the book of Song of Solomon, but you should definitely study this book- especially if you are contemplating marriage. We can find godly inspiration for many aspects of our “love life”.
Let’s check out some attributes to be desired in a godly husband, taught to us from this book of the Bible. If you are looking for a potential husband, look for these things. If you think you might have found a potential future husband, check to make sure he lines up with scripture!
Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon…
Song of Solomon 1:7
First things first: True love begins in the soul!
Love is not based upon looks. It is not based upon a feeling. Both these things are fleeting and will pass and change with time. True love must be based upon a deep rooted bond shared by two souls. Be sure your attraction to your “significant other” is more than skin deep.
Second: Where does he get fed, and what does his soul rest in?
The second, but probably equally as important thing to remember when looking for a godly mate is this: know what he believes, where he goes to church, and what his church teaches. The verse referenced above says ‘tell me where you feed (Church) and where your flock rests (what you are standing on, resting in). If there are doctrinal differences and disagreements between you and your boyfriend/fiancée, those deep rooted things are hard to change. You may think you are OK with overlooking them while you are dating, but when it comes to marriage, there is a great likelihood your husband will expect you to go along with his beliefs. Are you prepared to do that? Do his beliefs and Church doctrines line up with the Word of God? Your marriage and YOUR personal walk with God depends on it!
…I sat down under his shadow with great delight…
Song of Solomon 2:3
Third: You must be confident in his ability to lead your home!
A godly husband must be someone you can not only be confident in, but be content with leading your home. You will need to have confidence in your husbands ability to trust Christ, and lead you and your family through whatever comes your way. Marriage should never feel like a competition. God desires that our home is led by a man strong in his faith. Be sure to look for a godly man who will make prayerful, wise decisions for your home. Does this mean you will have no say in the decisions made? Absolutely not! In fact, you should practice wise decision making while you are single, so you are no stranger to the process once married. (Prayer, prayer prayer!)
The voice of my beloved! Behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, shewing himself through the lattice.
Song of Solomon 2:8-9
Fouth: Find a godly man who is not lazy, and who will be your fearless protector.
So your husband may not ever leap upon mountains or skip on the hills, as is described in Song of Solomon 2:8, but you also don’t want a husband who never wants to leave the couch. When the time comes to go and do for the Lord, will he go and do? When you have a need, will he get up and provide? If times are hard, will he work extra to ensure the family is taken care of? As verse 9 says, is he willing to stand in the gap? Will this man you are courting, or pursuing defend you and your home from, not only physical attacks but from spiritual attacks of the devil once you are married? These are important things to think about!
Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!
Song of Solomon 4:9-10
Fifth: Marry a man who thinks the world of you!
We all love to hear a good compliment now and then! Make sure he doesn’t say things just to say them. When we read through the whole book of Song of Solomon, we notice that others (not just the couple in the book) are aware, and know of the admiration these two lovebirds have for one another. A godly man will have no problem praying for you. He will not only think you are beautiful, but will tell you (and likely others) what he thinks about your inner beauty as well! Wouldn’t it be a blessing to have a husband that continually reassures you of his attraction to and love for you? You are worth it, child of God!
Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth…
Song of Solomon 7:11-12
Sixth and lastly: Marry someone you want to work alongside.
Marriage is hard work. Make no mistake! Raising a family is a job! In verse 11 & 12 of chapter 7, the word “us” is used 4 times. This bride and groom are working together, traveling together, and simply enjoying the blessings of marriage. Will you always see eye to eye with whomever God sends to be your husband? No! Men and women are so different! We don’t think alike, communicate the same, or feel the same about pretty much anything! However, when life gets real, and the “rubber meets the road” so-to-speak, you want to have someone by your side that you are happy spending your days with. Does this fella you are contemplating a future with make you smile? Do you look forward to just being together? Does he make you proud? Or does he get under your skin more often than not?
I hope these verses from the beautiful love story in Song of Solomon help you to sharpen your focus when looking for a godly mate. Pray fervently that God would reveal him to you in His time. Moreover, that you will be perceptive and receptive when the Holy Spirit speaks to your heart.
