Shouldn’t loving your children come naturally?
It should be a package deal. You give birth and become a Mother, therefore you love your children. Don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING like the love of most mothers for their children. So why, then, does this verse in Titus exist:
That they may teach the young women to… love their husbands, to love their children…
Titus 2:4
Now, I can understand the first part of the above-mentioned verse… sometimes I NEED guidance on how to love my husband! (Can I get an Amen?!) But as a mother, shouldn’t it come naturally to me to love my children? Why do I need to be taught how to love them? Believe it or not, the Bible warned us there would come a time when some mothers don’t naturally love their children. We receive a warning from God in 2 Timothy 3:1-3 about how people will act in the “last days”, which we are now living in! One of those descriptions says people will be “without natural affection”. Directly translated from the Greek language in which it was originally written, this means “hard hearted towards kindred”. So, yes, it should come naturally to a mother to love her children. However, due to the sinful and wicked condition our poor world is in, this doesn’t always happen.
What does it mean, then, to “love” my children?
I looked up the meaning of this word “love” in the Greek, where it was used in Titus 2:4 as it applies to women loving their children. It means “to be friendly towards”. Think about it; it is sometimes easier to have the emotion of love towards our children, rather than the action of being friendly towards them. They are so needy at times, and BOY do they know how to make the house a mess! They can get under your skin and frustrate you easier than most anyone else it may seem! It can be easy to snap at your children, and act less than friendly towards them. We really have to work at it, but with God’s help and prayer it is possible!! After all, we are instructed to show the love of God towards others. Our children are included in that!
Teach me how!
- Share the gospel with them. Don’t just preach to them. Remind them often they are special. Psalm 139 is a great place to go to teach them they are wonderfully made! Let your children know Christ died for them, too, and He has great plans for them when they grow up! Be their biggest exhorter and prayer warrior.
- Include your children in some of the household decision making. Even if you already have your mind made up about a situation, children feel their opinion has value when you ask for it. You may be surprised to find out, especially with older children, they have great ideas in many cases!
- Talk to your children. Encourage them to share their heart with you. Ask the hard questions, and be prepared to listen to the answers. Be friendly and compassionate when they have worries or concerns. A little girl who lost her favorite toy seems like a small problem and inconvenience to you, but to that little girl it is a big deal. If you brush her off about this, will she readily come to you when the problems get bigger? Or will she remember your handling of her lost toy?
- Give them responsibilities. I know what you’re thinking, what child wants chores? Trust me, the earlier you include them in the household duties, the more they will learn to enjoy being part of the family team, and will appreciate a job well done. When they learn to serve first at home, they will enjoy serving later at Church in ministry.
- When your children are out of the house and grown up, you can still be friendly and show your love for them. Send messages, gift them with little surprises. Babysit the grandchildren so they can go on a date. Support their business and other ventures they take off on.
What suggestions do you have for being friendly towards your children? Even when those children are grown and married with children of their own, there are ways to show your love for them. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below!
This is soooo good!!! I agree being friendly to your children when they are little develops them into your friend when they are older and out of the house. People think you can’t be friends and mom but you can. My girls are adults now, we talk every day on the phone. When they have a problem I listen, and give advice. And sometimes I don’t give advice I’m just the ear they need as a friend.
My suggestion is Don’t cry over spilt milk. We all have accidents and if we as moms say “Here let me help you clean that up. Momma has done it before too.” It makes our kids know that we will be there to help them when they need a friend the most.