Grief…..
We all have faced it at some point in our lives. Whether it is the death of a loved one or the loss of friendship.
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, in all avenues. It can come calmly or as a raging ocean wave that knocks you down.
I am no expert to grief, but I have dealt with my share in my almost 45 years of life. I’m here to tell you-YOU DO NOT GET OVER IT! You just learn to live with it. It’s a moment by moment process. There are days, I am fine. The pain of loss is still there but the wave of emotion that goes with it seems to be at bay. Then there are days that just the thought of the missed loved one brings tears to my eyes and I cry. Sometimes, I ugly, snot flinging cry! I let myself share in this time of heartache, but I don’t stay there.
I’ve learned that when these waves come that it is the price of love. It means there was something or someone that meant so very much to me that the pain of their absence is unbearable at times. Learning to live with this pain can be tricky because we don’t always know when the wave will come crashing down on us.
In my moments of grief I have learned to turn to the One who cares the most for me.
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1 Peter 5:17
Sometimes I feel that I literally have to cast or throw all (nothing left behind) things that are weighing me down in sorrow. I don’t just throw them up into the wind or down on the ground. No, I give them over to the One who cares for me. He is concerned and it matters to Him what I am going through. The pain, the loss, He was touched with it all.
And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.
Mark 6:46
Here Jesus was touched with grief and the pain of losing someone He loved very deeply-John the Baptist. John was His cousin, he was His friend, he served in the ministry with the Lord. Jesus, being all God was still all man. He felt the feeling of utter devastation when John was martyred for Him. Yet, when this happened what did our Saviour do? He ministered to the 5,000 with the 5 loaves and two fishes in Mark 6, THEN He went aside to pray. Who did He go pour or cast His cares upon? None other than His Father. He knew His Father cared about how He was hurting. He knew His Father would help Him. I, too, turn to my Father in prayer. His arms are strong enough to carry the pain I am dealing with.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2
Jesus lifted up His eyes unto the hills. He “departed into a mountain” He knew that is where He could get the help to bare this grief of loss. The same God who spoke the world into existence is the same God who can speak peace to my troubled soul like He did for His Own Son that day on the mountain.
When my daddy and mama died a year apart with cancer, I felt I was going to crumble under the unbearable load of loss. I went from being caregiver to my daddy to jumping into the fire to caring for mama. I didn’t have much time to process it. I had a ministry to do, I cared for my dying parents. During that time, I lost one grandfather to leukemia and the other had a stroke and had to be cared for 24/7. I felt this trial of grief was more than I could bear. To be honest, It was. I couldn’t carry this alone. It was beyond the strength that I possessed. I had to lift up mine eyes unto the hills, I had to look beyond myself and my pain to the One who longs to Help me.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1
God is our place of safety, of trust. When we, as His child, suffer loss He is THE PERSON for us to flee to. We can hide under the shadow of His wings. In His shelter we find strength, power, might. We can bear the loss with the power of His Might. I learned that in my own self I was weak as water. It wasn’t until I asked Him to give me His strength, and in His might was I able to live again. He was right there all along.
….Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Psalm 30:5
In grief we tend to only see what is before us. We can’t look past the pain. It’s like it’s jumping up and down in front of our faces demanding our attention. My, it is so hard to look past it, but my friend, you will. There will come a day when you realize that the darkness, the long night has passed. You begin to see the sun peaking above the horizon and joy my friend slowly comes. I love this blessed promise in God’s Word. It is only a set time that we mourn and weep. He will give us the JoY we need to live through the grief.
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
You will rise up out of the ashes, things will begin to look beautiful again. Yes, the pain will still be there, but the JoY of the Lord will be your strength, Knowing He helped you pick your head up. Looking back and seeing that it was Him who gave you just enough Light to see the next step. Knowing it was He who made a way for you to love again when you felt you couldn’t. You will rise again, my friend. His Joy will come and it will fill those dark places of grief and you too will be able to eat, drink and minister again.
Life will never be the same without your loved one. You will miss them with every moment of every day, BUT His JoY will be the strength you need to bear this price of love.